Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
