I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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