you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
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I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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