Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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