Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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