so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
