HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
