elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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