Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize