Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you win again, gameday.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed