I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
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I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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