so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
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Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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