like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
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Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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