dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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