So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
