I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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