I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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