people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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