he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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