I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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