I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Drake has all the answers
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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