Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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