i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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