Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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