I love black thongs
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
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Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
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The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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