Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize