Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
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Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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