Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills