How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.