new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10