Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.