sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize