there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize