My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize