Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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