I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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