One girl and one boy is just not enough.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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