Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
