The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
