Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
