it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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