Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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