Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
