do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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