So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that