Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

  (817): View more from Texas

  told ya

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  (214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea
  Replies (13) Good night (2629) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN

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  (386): tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN http://tfl.nu/xbeq
  Replies (26) Good night (569) Bad night (3039)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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  (484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0
  Replies (82) Good night (6371) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.

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  (206): Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick. http://tfl.nu/0596
  Replies (43) Good night (1206) Bad night (2831)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That burning is chlamydia

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  (612): One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence (202): That burning is chlamydia http://tfl.nu/w9ru
  Replies (9) Good night (945) Bad night (3780)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college

  (516): View more from New York

  is she hot?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She is now

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  (802): My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college (516): is she hot? (802): She is now http://tfl.nu/4xoq
  Replies (34) Good night (9034) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1285) Bad night (3854)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself

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  (905): i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself http://tfl.nu/s870
  Replies (6) Good night (3555) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

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  (774): I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys. http://tfl.nu/c88u
  Replies (2) Good night (3098) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.

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  (502): Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer. http://tfl.nu/e067
  Replies (11) Good night (1349) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.

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  (847): We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love. http://tfl.nu/9pu7
  Replies (7) Good night (884) Bad night (736)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.

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  (+44): Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight. http://tfl.nu/uuv5
  Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.

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  (701): Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year. http://tfl.nu/wvcz
  Replies (5) Good night (1048) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing says love like couples STD testing

  (972): View more from Texas

  Nothing says breakup like the results

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  (214): Nothing says love like couples STD testing (972): Nothing says breakup like the results http://tfl.nu/3283
  Replies (7) Good night (1491) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.

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  (616): Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high. http://tfl.nu/9cx2
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (304)

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