Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  break up sex still means we will always be broken up.

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  (248): break up sex still means we will always be broken up. http://tfl.nu/dud5
  Replies (1) Good night (1089) Bad night (1301)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband

  (404): View more from Georgia

  did it work?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  nope

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  (678): did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband (404): did it work? (678): nope http://tfl.nu/53k6
  Replies (44) Good night (807) Bad night (2194)
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  (858): View more from California

  Fuck U Mike is a golden god.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Mike give steph back her phone.

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  (858): Fuck U Mike is a golden god. (504): Mike give steph back her phone. http://tfl.nu/vnnr
  Replies (9) Good night (3457) Bad night (767)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I could make wine with my vomit

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  (503): I could make wine with my vomit http://tfl.nu/9wng
  Replies (4) Good night (840) Bad night (2823)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

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  (908): my sombrero is too big for the bathroom http://tfl.nu/okhq
  Replies (25) Good night (9525) Bad night (1286)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

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  (717): i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego. http://tfl.nu/vgwh
  Replies (20) Good night (4790) Bad night (1364)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls

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  (403): I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls http://tfl.nu/ukym
  Replies (1) Good night (1938) Bad night (627)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

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  (360): Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys... http://tfl.nu/6y99
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (487)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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  (503): I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20. http://tfl.nu/9ljc
  Replies (6) Good night (1583) Bad night (489)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?

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  (612): Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove? http://tfl.nu/82jr
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (351)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.

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  (343): You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER. http://tfl.nu/dnn5
  Replies (12) Good night (2369) Bad night (423)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.

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  (480): Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them. http://tfl.nu/xfpb
  Replies (6) Good night (356) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off

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  (807): I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off http://tfl.nu/3ozb
  Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"

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  (631): I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door" http://tfl.nu/2fek
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (160)
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  (530): View more from California

  It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts

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  (530): It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts http://tfl.nu/uifp
  Replies (2) Good night (59) Bad night (172)

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