He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.