Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
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i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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