Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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  (805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. http://tfl.nu/dvm6
  Replies (10) Good night (859) Bad night (994)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.

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  (321): We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story. http://tfl.nu/mc4k
  Replies (29) Good night (1169) Bad night (3593)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.

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  (718): We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged. http://tfl.nu/etq6
  Replies (7) Good night (2911) Bad night (1467)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.

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  (281): Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low. http://tfl.nu/mevg
  Replies (5) Good night (911) Bad night (1309)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.

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  (936): The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses. http://tfl.nu/nf3m
  Replies (3) Good night (2291) Bad night (1191)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.

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  (832): He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits. http://tfl.nu/umk6
  Replies (9) Good night (775) Bad night (1160)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.

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  (317): Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor. http://tfl.nu/nqp0
  Replies (6) Good night (1674) Bad night (498)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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  (954): I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days. http://tfl.nu/jvfc
  Replies (1) Good night (992) Bad night (655)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.

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  (772): She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times. http://tfl.nu/p3ry
  Replies (5) Good night (1696) Bad night (641)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1544) Bad night (518)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them

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  (206): just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them http://tfl.nu/w8ay
  Replies (5) Good night (475) Bad night (804)
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  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

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  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (768)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going

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  (703): I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going http://tfl.nu/4frq
  Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (625)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.

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  (716): it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality. http://tfl.nu/d5wl
  Replies (7) Good night (877) Bad night (302)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner

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  (717): sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner http://tfl.nu/onjq
  Replies (4) Good night (585) Bad night (311)

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