theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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