Just cropdusted the office
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
