hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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