My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
