i just had sex bonerless
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
