what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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