I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
