oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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