why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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