It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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